French kids say the darndest things

Al and I watched one of those "video clip" shows on TV last night and there was a segment devoted to dumb answers given by French high school students. So far all I've heard of the French public education system has been annoyingly rosy perfection so I was eagerly anticipating a parade of dumbasses. But I was disappointed, for even though some answers were truly stupid, others were delightfully inventive or just 100% French.

For instance, in the 100% French category, we have the young woman who was asked what "fertility" meant. She explained it fine -- man, woman, nice egg, hard-working sperm, etc., but then threw in a delicious French zinger:

-- "So it takes one man and one woman together -- well, actually you could have more, like two or three men and two or three women together, but it takes a minimum of one man and one woman."

Booya! You go, French girl.

Then there was the delightfully well reasoned. One young man was asked about global warming and again, he started off strong. He explained it so well Alex and I were wondering what the punchline was until he said this:

-- "Ocean levels will rise, flooding a bunch of coastal cities. But that's OK because we have a big unemployment problem and that will really help."

Now that kid's a problem solver! Drown a bunch of people and those remaining can have their jobby jobs! It's a win - win except for the people who are dead. I love his silver lining approach and think that kid's future is in policy-making, or perhaps contract killing.

And in the "so close and yet so far" category, one girl was asked who Galileo was. She responded:

-- "Before him, the Earth didn't rotate."

This made Alex laugh and laugh. But I sat thoughtfully and then offered up that perhaps she wasn't THAT far off -- I mean, she knew it had to do with the planets and rotations and that's pretty good, right? I mean, how many teenagers in the States would tell you Galileo invented the light bulb? So I didn't think her answer was that horrible. Alex then gave me a look that most definitely suggested I was part of the problem.

I haven't mentioned the grocery store in awhile and, unbelievably, it's because I've finally gotten comfortable there. But I should have known better for the grocery store remains a cruel, heartless place. This morning, the Loosh and I wandered in to find they were gutting the store for reasons not explained by any obvious signage. And I mean gutted; empty shelves laying on their sides, crates of milk siting in the aisles with people pawing through them trying to find the kind of milk they wanted. The produce section was completely boarded up and everything I needed was either out of stock, moved to an undisclosed location, or being fought over by three little old ladies. Ahhh... I've always wanted to experience communism.

There was one bright side to all the empty shelves -- I can only fit so much in my stylin' wheelie shopping cart and, when reaching capacity, I often have to make split second decisions between toilet paper and paper towels, orange juice and milk, laundry detergent and dishwasher soap. It's an agonizing decision. It's the Sophie's Choice of grocery shopping.

But today, since there were only like ten things on the shelves, it was a snap! I just grabbed them all and headed through the debris, pushed past the men in their construction helmets (construction helmets necessary yet still open for business?) dragging the strangely silent and clingy Loosh behind me, no doubt frightened by the grocery store mayhem. Thankfully, Mama's now a pro at pushing through people and not apologizing for it so I got us safely outside where Lucien told me he "didn't like dat place." So now we are a club of two.

Lucien says the color "blue" in French, bleu, more like, "blehhhhh." I find this funny. And thankfully, his favorite color is blue so all I have to do is ask, "Hey Loosh, what's your favorite color?" and he'll respond, "Blehhhhhhhhh," with his mouth hanging open kinda like he's throwing up in slow motion. May it never get old.

Alex's brother, David, and his girlfriend arrive tomorrow for what will most definitely be an enjoyable visit. I am, however, preparing myself for the craziness the presence of visitors unleashes in the Loosh. He goes nuts with joy and yelling and frenetic energy, usually for the duration of their stay. Giddyap.

Blehhhhhh, mon chou,
MJ