Monday, June 20, 2011

A Father's Day to Remember: Blood and Yelling

That's Alex and Loosh in Bruges on a weird bike.  I'm not writing about Bruges, just needed a photo of Al being Dad-like.

Historically, Al and I have sucked at celebrating each other on Father's Day and Mother's Day.  We usually manage to cobble together some sort of breakfast, but after that, the day is pretty much just an excuse to get out of doing stuff.  The garbage needs to be taken out?  I'm not doing that, it's Father's Day.  Coco needs a diaper change?  No way -- Mother's Day privilege, sucker.

Thankfully, Lucien's teacher takes care of gifts.  On Mother's Day, I got a homemade fan with Lucien's trademark people drawn all over it -- their legs come straight out of their chins.  For Father's Day, Alex received a CD of music sung by the kids of the school.  It's pretty adorable, all those little Frenchie kids singing together tunelessly.  I'm going to blast it next time we throw a party, maybe even incorporate it into the Eurovision party.  That should end our social lives nicely. 

This Father's Day was just as anticlimactic as all the others.  Alex had a training session with Thor and Lucien was sick, so I took Cokes to the Luxembourg to meet a friend of a friend passing through town. I've never met this friend of a friend but we immediately started babbling away like we've known each other forever.  For an instant friend -- presto! --just add an American.  I sure do miss how Americans chat away with anybody and share way too much personal information way too quickly.  U-S-A!  U-S-A!

As my new friend and I strolled through the Lux and discussed our bra sizes and how many people we've killed with our bare hands (those are appropriate openers for an American conversation), I noticed there was a new sculpture off in the distance.  It looked like an amorphous bright red thing.  As I got closer, I saw it wasn't just a blob; it was a word.  An English word.  Then my new friend and I looked at each other and said, "What the....?"

Blood!  huzzah!

While pondering the meaning of the Blood sculpture, I had a celebrity sighting at the Lux carousel.  Craig Ferguson, of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson was standing next to us with a pretty blond lady, presumably his wife, and a baby in a stroller, presumably his spawn.  Craig was being a Good Dad, walking the stroller 'round and 'round in mind-numbing circles in an attempt to get his kid to fall asleep.  Craig Ferguson and I have a lot in common.

 This is a horrible picture I took of Craig Ferguson.  He's the fuzzy guy in the background.  I think it's obvious my future is not in paparazzi.

I came home and looked up Craig Ferguson and his wife online.  His website says, "We're taking the show to Paris for the summer!" and the pictures I found of his wife are indeed the pretty blond lady.  I turned and yelled at Alex, "HA!  Told you so!  It was totally him!" and Al was like, "What are you talking about?  Why are you yelling at me on Father's Day?"

Let's continue with our "Blood and Yelling" Father's Day theme.  Alex went out later that day to run a few errands and returned with a heartwarming tale of fatherhood violence.  He'd seen a father waiting to cross the street with his two children near our apartment.  A stupid biker came careening past and very nearly ran into them.  The father immediately took off after the biker, yelling something along the lines of did he realize what he had just done,  he could have seriously hurt his kids, etc. etc.

The biker stopped and, instead of doing the smart thing and apologizing, he escalated the situation by yelling back at the dad.  Pushing and hitting ensued.  Several guys got involved and separated them, but even after being pulled away, Dumbass Biker continued to yell horrible things at Attack Dad.  So Attack Dad attacked him again.  This went on for awhile.

To finish up our strange day, I bought the most beautiful piece of meat for Father's Day dinner.  I couldn't wait to cook it.  I started strong, but then wandered away to deal with kid stuff.  When I returned, my beautiful piece of meat had taken on a ghostly grayish color.  I had really cooked the shit out of it.  Alex took one bite and gave me OMG!WTF! eyes.  He pretended to eat it for awhile, but then got honest and resigned and said, "Oh baby, I just can't."

He's never, ever, ever going to let me live down that stupid piece of meat.  

Happy Father's Day yesterday, especially to Craig Ferguson, Attack Dad,  and Al,
(and of course to my own dad, Wonder Dave)
MJ

15 comments:

Duchesse said...

I didn't know meat COULD turn grey...:)

Hmmmmmmmm a summer in Paris... and la Fête de la musique this week:)

MJ said...

Hi Duchesse!!!!

I really cooked the shit out of it.

M

debbie in toronto said...

hmmm are we ever going to hear about the trip to Bruges?

and that BLOOD sign better be gone before I get there...I don't like that in the Lux one bit...stick it in front of the Louvre.

love a decent celeb sighting.

beef, lamb, pork? details....

Genie -- Paris and Beyond said...

Love the gray meat story and Wow! you saw Craig Ferguson... blood in the Lux AND ranting dad... always great stories, MJ.

I hope that you will have a great adventure for Fête de la Musique tomorrow. Last year I was there with friends... Maybe Coco will dance to the music

Bises,
Genie

MJ said...

Hi Debbie! Bruges, Bruges, Bruges, always on my mind, just can't find the time...

I hate to tell you, but it looks like BLOOD is going to be around for awhile. That's one heavy base on that sucker. When are you here again???

And it was a giant-ass chunk of BEEF. Massive beef. I cooked the shit out of it.

MJ said...

Genie, Genie, Genie! It was a Father's Day to remember. With lots of Fathers and a blood sign. Good day.

I am very much looking forward to F de la M tomorrow. Our last one, darnit all.

Thanks for stopping by,
M

debbie in toronto said...

arrive july 2..gone by the 5th...no idea yet what I'll be up too but you just know I'll be in the Lux at some point..it's my hood...are you going to be around that weekend?

MJ said...

Yes, yes, I will. We don't leave until later that week -- only downside is I'll have Lucien (not that it's a "down," but you know, harder to talk to human beings and whatnot....)

We'll probably see you at the park! Let's make a date of it, get Karin back in there again, too..

Mrs. Howard said...

I love Craig Ferguson! He and I share a fangirly, geeky crush on everything Doctor Who!

MJ said...

Mrs. H -- and now you know he's a stroller-pushing attentive papa to boot. Swoon.

debbie in toronto said...

I'll keep in touch.....:)love to meet the Loosh....

Anonymous said...

"Blood" looks frightening! How could they deface the Luxembourg this way? Thanks for the warning: when I'm there and see red from a distance, I will walk in the opposite direction!

Patricia H

Karin (an alien parisienne) said...

*waves* Karin's here! Hi! Yes, we can try to get together when Deb is here! I need to reply to her comment on my blog about it, too, but the alert for this post came up in my email this morning, and so I stopped here first. :)

Blood. Wow. Yelling. Wow! Crazy Father's Day in the American Mom 'hood, sounds like!

I have always really sucked at Father's Day, both as a kid and as a parent. Damn greeting card companies who make silly holidays out of non-holidays! It's a grand conspiracy, I say. ;-)

Celeb sighting! Cool! Lots of them happen in the Lux, I know. My sis saw Claire Danes there on her short visit a few years back. And you've bumped into a bunch! (Okay, well, two that I can remember. :) )

Hope you have all, on Tuesday, recovered from all the blood and yelling. :)

I'll try to send a message to you and Deb later today re: the weekend of the 3rd & 4th.

Nicole said...

Hurray for Attack Dad! I am about at that point, as we live on a one-way street and I think my 2-year-old has used up about 8 of her 9 nine-lives this spring, dodging bikes that come hurtling past our door because the rider decides to use the sidewalk. Poor kid has to spend her life tip-toeing around an apartment because of cranky neighbors and now I hardly let her walk outside because there are so many homicidal maniacs careenng down the sidewalk. Clearly it is time for summer vacation- before Mommy ends up in lockdown...

MJ said...

Patricia, the Blood thing is unnerving. It's a strange sculpture for the Lux, no need to check it out if you catch that flash of red in the distance.

Karin! Must have a reunion with Debbie. Let's talk. I have to start looking around me more -- I know there are celebs crawling all over this joint but I just don't notice.

Nicole, these sidewalks are menaces -- both in a dog sh*t way and a bike way. Summer break is almost here! Hope you're going somewhere fun...

Bye, all

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