Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Magic Sunday and Mad Men

"Back to School Collection"?  I thought I'd gotten Lucien's Back to School needs squared away but it appears I forgot the sexy bra and panty.  Wow... I never realized how much I hate the word "panty."  Ouf, stop it!  Stop saying it!

In other news, the ads on the side of the Conciergerie are becoming just plain cruel.  Look at the nonsense that's up there now --

Really, Conciergerie?  Isn't that kinda mean, featuring a painting of Marie Antoinette without a face, and a title of "Ghost Save the Queen" on the side of the building where she was held prisoner right before she LOST HER FACE and WAS NOT SAVED?  All that's missing is the slogan, "Hey, folks, DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD over this Samsung thing, yeah decapitation!" 

You're being kind of a dick, Conciergerie

Let's all just cool down for a minute.  Perhaps Loosh's drawing of a Tyrannosaurus Rex will soothe us --

Works every time

On Sunday I took a morning-long walk with Coco in the stroller.  I left Alex and The Loosh at home sitting in their underwear watching cartoons.  (very nice mental picture for you and you are welcome)

You know what I love about Paris, what I will miss with my whole heart?  Every time I take a leisurely stroll, I encounter wonderful things.  I encounter surprising things I never thought I wanted to see and yet when I happen upon them I think, "Yes, this completes me as a human."

This time it was basketball in front of Hotel de Ville.  And not just any basketball -- horrible basketball.  I watched them for twenty minutes and didn't see a single basket made.  It still made me happy to watch them, and to listen to the accompanying bone-rattling hip-hop music.

Cokes and I wandered into the Marais.  How is it I've never been down la rue des Rosiers?  Just when I think I've seen everything, I find a delightful street full of Hasidic Jews and falafel -- two of my favorite things in the whole world!  I really should have come to this street sooner.

On our way home, we swung past Camille Claudel's place on Île Saint-Louis so Cokes could give a shout-out to her namesake --

Yo, other Camille

On the Pont Saint Louis, we found several men inexplicably dressed like safari guides.  One was jamming on a piano, one a bass, and the other was singing into a bullhorn.  They were hella fun.  I hope my neighbors in Seattle dress like safari guides and sing into bullhorns from time to time.  It's Seattle -- place is full of weirdos -- so I probably won't be too disappointed on that one.

It's a piano on a bridge

I've been on a mission to find a dress for an upcoming Mad Men themed party.  I hate themed parties because of the pressure they put on the attendee -- pressure besides the usual "don't get drunk and make out with a stranger" pressure.  There are vintage clothing shops near me but I would have to pay hundreds of euros to get a Betty Draper-ish dress and I don't want to pay that much to look like that horrible woman.  (Maybe I should go for the Joan look since I have such a great rack?)*

*You may not realize this, but that's the funniest thing I've ever written.

I went into one vintage store and ended up buying a bunch of cool stuff that had absolutely nothing to do with Mad Men.  The groovy dude working liked my accent.  He, like most French people, thought I was English.  When I said I was American, he was surprised because my accent does not sound American (yeah! no offense, homeland, but American accents are the pits.)

Vintage groovy dude said it was cool I was American because he loooooved America and its accompanying Americans.  He said that in America, if you work hard, you will do well and have a really good life.  I said, "errrrr......yeah....right" and decided not to mention the five bazillion (that's an accurate number) people who work their fingers to the bone for minimum wage at several jobs yet can barely feed their families.  I didn't want to burst his bubble; it's adorable the American Dream is still alive abroad.

I did finally find a dress at a vintage shop in the Marais (thanks Twitter, thanks Rachael!).  It's two sizes too large so I'm going to have to cinch the hell out of it but at least I won't show up to the party naked.  I tried on the dress for Alex.  I said, "Hey, close your eyes and picture all those beautiful women on Mad Men.  OK, now open your eyes and look at me."  He laughed and laughed.  I chose to believe he was laughing because I looked incredibly sexy.

Alex is hoping to score some vintage silk pajamas, slick back his hair, stick a cigar in his mouth and go as "Don Draper After Hours."  I wonder if we'll be the two biggest idiots there or the next two biggest idiots?  So exciting!

The people throwing the party have emailed everyone and asked for their two favorite songs.  All favorite songs will be played by the DJ at the party.  Just as payback, because we dislike themed parties so much, we're going to request Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" and Baha Men's "Who Let the Dogs Out."  Al and I will shake our asses in the middle of the room in our ridiculous apparel.  Hope my mothball-smelling, two-sizes-too-large dress can handle my moves.

Lucien's teacher was hysterical at pick-up yesterday.  Lots of arm waving. When I asked her why she was yelling at Lucien in such a mean way, she said she'd asked him THREE TIMES to stop hitting his friend.  I was like, "Really?  Only three?  And then he stopped?  Good job, son!" 

Now I don't condone hitting, people, but when it's the first time the kid has acted up this year, and he was goofing off with his friend, well.... I can't help but feel it was an overreaction.  His teacher seems prone to hysterics and mood swings, which doesn't bode well.  I hate to leave you, Paris, and my heart breaks, but we're going to have to get The Loosh out of here sooner rather than later.

Speaking of which, we've chosen our departure date but I'm not going to write it here.  I don't do well with goodbyes, so one day I'll just be gone... poof....

Always remember me, posse, and remember I like big butts and I cannot lie,


oldgreymare said...

I cannot bear not knowing how the story ends..there must be enough lunatic Seattleans to write about...and I simply must see more stick drawings.
I know I rarely comment anymore but I have read every single post and and turned on many other friends to your blog and we don't do well with withdrawals.
ATMJS Addicted to MJ sorority.

MJ said...

Hi Z! I've missed you! The story will never end, and I will blog something forevermore, though it will no longer be about my beloved (and occasionally hated) Paris. That will be a kick in the nuts to most followers, I assume.

There are many lunatic Seattleites, and thankfully most of them are our friends. Will keep you posted on developments.

Bye, Z!

Anne said...

How is it that you've never eaten a falafel in the Marais?!! Have you been living under a rock? So glad you corrected that situation. And seriously, I think the Cat in the Hat deserves his own stroller.

debbie in toronto said...

if you think your posse is going to let you just get away with disappearing "one day" you've got another thing coming....

and it may be the angle but I'm pretty sure Cokes has bigger feet than me...

I think you are more of a Peggy..just saying.

love the Marais...but then I love it all.

that teacher needs a slap.

Luxembourgermeister said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Don't leave us! I, too, don't comment often but read religiously and am DYING to hear the continued adventures of MJ, Al, Loosh, and Cokes! PUHLEEEEEEEZE don't disappear! You'll be like Marie Antoinette scary blank picture and you can't let that be your swan song!

Genie -- Paris and Beyond said...

I love Baby Got Back, but I took it off my iTunes when the precious 4-yr old grandson started singing it a capella with a jiving rhythm and booty-shake. (I should leave this post anonymously -shhhhh)

You may leave Paris but you are taking the circus with you... Don't forget that! You will have plenty to write about in Seattle.


Anonymous said...

The "Back to School Collection" is probably targeting the teachers. Imagine Lucien's teacher wearing one of those sexy bras and panties...(may be not). The name of the collection is "Soleil Sucré?" What's up with that?

Patricia H

Marie said...

MJ, do you think Lucien will lose his french? I know your husband is french candadien but in school its going to be all English all the time.

Elaine said...

Well, we did have that one guy who would hang out where you can hop off Aurora to get to Mercer who begged for money for ninja lessons. Not the same as people playing instruments while dressed in safari outfits, I know, but...

Paris Paul said...

So much to enjoy here!

Like I love how they went to all the trouble to hang a trompe l'oeil of the Conciergerie over the the Conciergerie, only to cover THAT with a billboard about Marie Antoinette losing her head. Ack!as Bill the Cat would say.

And the basketball! Not only did they not make a shot, the hoop looks like less than regulation height. Like midget height. Maybe Loosh should stay in Paris so he can dominate the country in b-ball?

Glad you found your Mad Woman dress...but did you find a Mad Women panty? Yes, I went there.

Duchesse said...

What do you mean, you set the date and you won't tell us?!!! Can't you put a countdown thingy like Anne did on her blog (Just another American in Paris)?

You want to know something ironic? When we met in the Marais back in April, I was staying in a rental on rue des Rosiers!:) But I didn't go to the As du falafel because it was closed at that time... will have to go back (even though I'm not a big fan of the Marais).

You say you hate goodbyes, but it's not really goodbye if you're gonna keep on blogging from Seattle... so you can tell us the date so we have time to prepare for the inevitable, no?;))

Anonymous said...

Yeah!!! What they all said!!!! More blog!!!

Bec Oakley said...

MJ? Are... are you there? EMJAY??? DON'T LEAVE US! DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT!

Okay, I swear to God I read that first sentence and went "I cannot stand the word panty". And! And! We have that exact same Cat in the Motherflipping Hat doll.

I vote that *Alex* goes to the party in the dress (puts a whole other spin on Don Draper After Dark). Most awesome song choices ever! I am just peeing my Back to School Collection picturing you guys getting down to those.

Hold on. Wait just a minute here. You're on Twitter? How did I not know this. There goes my evening...

welltraveled said...

Please...Need your humor ..don't dissappear..
There must be lots of things to write about in Seattle..

Kate said...


Davicious said...

You otha' brothas can't denyyy...

Maybe request YMCA by the VP. That would be aaaawwwesome.

Macsmail said...

Love the drawing. It appears that your son, like many before him, has been inspired by Paris to be an artist!

Cool pic of Coco and the house of her namesake. I have been a fan of Camille Claudel for about 10 years, since I saw her work at the Rodin museum. I even considered naming my daughter Claudia as a take off on her name, but my husband wasn't a fan so that got nixed. I should have gone the Camille route...

Be sure to take lots of pictures at the Mad Men party. You may be asked to make a cameo appearance in an upcoming episode "Don Draper in Paris and his mysterious-sexy-writer-lady"

I am casting my vote that you continue blogging!! Having just recently discovered your blog I would be sad to lose it so quickly! I'm sure you will have lots of fun stories about adjusting to life in the states again. And with the two children full of personality you will always have something to write about!


Janey and Co. said...

Please keep writing MJ! I have enjoyed you so much! You gave voice to the feelings I had... but held inside when I lived abroad so many years ago.
After all Seattle is like foreign to me too :) Janey

It's Just Me! said...

Please make sure Alex doesn't look like Hugh Heffner. I'd hate to have you mistaken for a bunny. Sure, you have the looks. It's a class thing my dear.

Please promise to post pics post-party.


Amy said...

Ah yes, step outside the door and Paris hits you across the face with something unpredictable. Sometimes literally. But on Sunday you missed the energetic Brasilian festival of washing the steps of La Madeleine! And if it had been Saturday, like me, you would have stumbled upon the loudest, most insane parade I have seen here yet (and I've seen two confetti cannons and a motorised Gilligan's island car). I'm talking about he Technoparade! That's right, why keep raves indoors in the dark? Where they really belong is on the street in the middle of the day. The only dampener (bad pun) was the young man in glitter who ran by and licked my hand as I was taking artistic photos of the crowd. Eeeeeuuuuwwwww. This is what hand sanitiser was made for.

Creepy Query Girl said...

seriously? But I just found your blog. lol. Wish I lived closer to the city. Alas, if I go for a leisurely walk in the Paris suburbs I'll probably see surprising things like cars burning.

Anonymous said...

Please continue to write. I discovered your blog a short time ago and have spent the last 3 weeks reading all the old ones and getting paid for it too...shhhhhh don't tell anyone, I was at work. I've been to Seattle, there's lots of weird things to write about! Again, please continue.

TN said...

First things first...love the photo it made me laugh a bit to loud and woke up the little M from his nap (boo!).

Second I am mad at you! Why did you not email me to tell me you'd be in the neighborhood! I love Falafel's too!

Thirdly I hate that I can't spell Falafel's and have to google it every time ;-)

Regarding your Email - I think Seattle is way cooler too!


Anonymous said...

Don't. Stop. Writing.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe someone else hates the word "panty" or worse "panties". people make fun of me for this

Anonymous said...

I have so enjoyed your writing. I have been a silent but faithful follower. I will be so sad when you leave Paris. I would love to read about Seattle.



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